As we kick off the new year, many of us start thinking about New Year’s resolutions or about big accomplishments we hope to see happen in 2026.
While nearly half of Americans make New Year’s resolutions, a Columbia University report says only about 25% of people actually stay committed to them beyond 30 days. And even fewer, less than 10%, actually accomplish their goals.
I could write a book – and there have been many – about why resolutions fail and how to make them last. But I always prefer to take a little different spin on things and ask how thinking about your approach to the new year can help you when you are doing hard things, like performing under pressure.
When I talk to a team about goal-setting, I ask them to share about their experience with goals. Do they find them motivating, helpful, or otherwise? Many times, I hear tales of fear, failure and disappointment. All of these are laced with a common thread – self-judgment and self-criticism. Reaching a goal becomes a pass/fail test, with one’s self-worth hanging in the balance.
The new year, or a new season for athletes, with all its hope for new and better, presents a chance to push ourselves out of our comfort zone and toward our best selves. But a big audacious goal can either inspire us to do our best, or can turn into fear of failure, derailing even the best laid plans.
How can we go after big things in a way that promotes excellence over perfectionism, motivation over self-sabotage? Let’s start with our approach to goal-setting and then make a plan that supports your unique personality.
Goals are like mountaintops.
One of my favorite authors, Brad Stulberg, recently published an outstanding book, The Way of Excellence, (which I recommend reading) where he describes goals this way:
“Goals are like mountaintops. They are important insofar as they provide definition and direction for our journeys. They serve as targets, offering a wellspring of motivation. They keep us focused and prevent us from aimlessly wandering. Yet nearly all of our growth, development, and meaning occur not at the point of accomplishing a goal but during its pursuit.”
As Brad so astutely points out, when we climb a mountain, we spend 99.9% of the time preparing and climbing, and only .1% of the time at the top. Our eventual success is dependent on our ability to focus on the step in front of us at any moment, whether that is preparing our gear, sticking with monotonous training regimens, or navigating the rocks and roots along the way up the mountain (aka, all the inevitable challenges and setbacks of life).
The real journey is right in front of you.
“Enjoy the journey” is a real thing. It may sound cliche, but the important message is that the goal is just a point of reference to provide direction, much like the destination you put into your Google maps. Once you determine the best route (scenic or no tolls or fastest, etc), you just get to driving. Rather than focusing on how much farther to the destination, which can make it seem to take FOREVER, you just focus on the road and whether to turn right or left at the next stop sign.
For your performance or personal goals, set them and “forget” them. In other words, put your attention on the daily habits where the real work, and actual growth, happens.
Goals are flexible.
As with any trip, detours happen due to unexpected events, some positive (a favorite coffee shop) and some negative (construction!). We have to stay flexible and adjust and adapt our goals to meet the new information. Psychological flexibility is an essential part of meeting any goal and is a key component of a resilient mindset.
As you set goals for this year, remember that the real reward is in the process of getting there, and not in the end result. Let go of the judgment and get excited to see what is in store for you this year.
4 steps to staying on track toward your goals:
- Use goals for direction, not as a self-worth test. Whether it is a performance goal or a goal for the year, plug it into your internal GPS like you would on your phone. Use it for direction, and then forget it and start driving. You are already a winner, just for being willing to work hard and go for your goals. Leave the judgment at the door.
- Stay flexible. Just like on any journey, there may be detours and obstacles along the way and staying focused on the present instead of the future will help you stay on course. A flexible mindset is key to success, so be willing to adapt, even adjusting your goals, to navigate unexpected changes.
- The journey is right in front of you. Measuring success by the end point every day can drain your motivation. Instead, put your focus on the training process and get excited looking for small signs of growth and progress. Fall in love with the process, and before you know it, you will be closer to your goal than you ever imagined!
- Reward yourself along the way. High achievers often find that the loudest internal voice is the inner critic, questioning and judging everything that happens. Learning to recognize what is going WELL is an essential skill of peak performers. Take time to give yourself positive encouragement, even during the hardest times. Maybe you showed up to practice even when you didn’t feel like it. Maybe you fueled well and stuck to your pre-performance routines. Try affirming these small wins through journaling, stars on a calendar, small rewards, and in positive self-talk.
Turning down the pressure.
Imagine this…You have set that big audacious goal for your performance today. You are excited, but as the time nears, you start feeling the nerves creep in. Heart racing, palms sweating, mind spinning with “What if’s”. You’re driven, you’re capable, you’re ready. But the pressure is intense and you are not sure if you can do it.
Feeling conflicting emotions of both excitement and nervousness is completely normal when you are doing something you care about. The real difference comes in HOW you talk about this stress to yourself. Do you tell yourself it is “too much” or that “you can handle it?” Do you tell yourself “it’s now or never” or to “just do what you do every day?”
Every person is unique, and it is important to develop the self-talk that best supports your performance, especially when the stakes are high. Maybe you are trying out for varsity, for a starting position, or maybe you have made it to the championship. . Reframing how you view the moment can help you manage the pressure so you can focus on what is important when it counts.
“My moment to shine” or “Just another day”?
Legendary football coach, Jim Mora, reminds us of the importance of reframing when he famously responded to reporters’ questions about the upcoming 2001 playoffs, “Playoffs! Are you kidding me, playoffs? We are just trying to win a game!”
You have already done the hard part, putting in the work every day to get where you are. Next time you have a big performance in front of you, check your self-talk and be sure you are not adding unnecessary pressure by making it feel like a do-or-die moment. Take a breath, smile, and remember that this is what you have trained for!
Let’s work together!
Remember that feeling stress is a normal and necessary part of doing hard things. It is a sign that you are in a place of potential self-growth. As you reach for new goals in your sport and daily life, think about how you can drop judgment and focus on the moment rather than the future goal.
If you would like more help in finding balance in your approach to performance, reach out to me for a complimentary 20-minute consultation! I look forward to working with you.
