Imagine this: It’s your first practice of the season, and you are back on the field with familiar teammates, along with a few new ones. You notice your heart is beating faster and you have an overall feeling of nervousness, like butterflies in your belly, and wonder what is going on. Initially excited about a new season, you can’t seem to stop a stream of negative thoughts that want to throw shade on your potential this season. “What if I don’t measure up this year?” is their general message.
Observing your teammates, you find yourself automatically comparing yourself to others. “What if he is better than me now?” “What if she takes my spot as a starter?” How does it make you feel when these kinds of thoughts dominate your mind? How does it affect your performance?
Comparison is the thief of joy.
First of all, let me assure you that it is normal to compare yourself to others. When you set your heart on high goals, your brain starts looking for threats to your success. It is your body’s natural way of protecting you. The problem is that comparing yourself to others may leave you feeling more stressed and less motivated = a real JOY drain!. It can leave you in a negative thought spiral which can negatively impact your performance.
So, what to do about it? While you cannot stop thoughts from passing through your mind, you CAN learn tools to help you reframe situations in a way that supports your motivation and well-being. It is not about denying the reality – maybe you won’t get the starting spot or make it to state this season – but instead, learning to redirect your attention from fruitless future predictions to focus on what is important to you and to your performance right NOW, in the present moment.
Normalizing negative emotions.
I have been privileged to work with many athletes who have inspired me with their passion and persistence. They are often some of the top in their game and reach out when they are hitting a roadblock that appears to be limiting their future potential. For some, it is an injury, while for others, it is anxiety, negative self-talk or difficult emotions. It can help take the edge off to simply remember you are not alone in your struggle.
Everyone has challenges and encounters setbacks on the road to growth and success. If you have NOT experienced both ups and downs recently, then you have not been challenging yourself! What makes the difference in achieving success is our ability to recover quickly and move forward from those challenges. That is what we call emotional resilience. It’s not about avoiding or eliminating the difficulty, but instead about using it to cultivate momentum to bounce forward.
American skier, Lindsay Vonn, who aims to return for a fifth time to compete in the 2026 Winter Olympics, shares how she uses difficult emotions in her quest for success.
“I always channeled what I felt emotionally into skiing – my insecurities, my anger, my disappointment. Skiing was always my outlet, and it worked.”
Four steps to turn emotions into fuel.
To help you turn your emotions into fuel for your sport and life, try incorporating more of the following:
- Acknowledge and accept your emotions. Rather than seeking only positive emotions, pay attention when you are feeling nervous or down and give yourself the empathy and kindness you would show to a teammate. Turning towards, rather than away from our emotions can help turn down the volume on the most difficult ones and help us persist through the tough times.
- Let go of judgment. The first thought that may accompany a setback is self-judgment. The inner critic comes out in full force. Try disarming the inner critic by reminding yourself that “even the best make mistakes” and “I am not defined by my failure, but how I come back from it.” Give yourself room to rebound.
- Shore up your self-esteem. Our confidence usually takes a hit when we have a setback. Remembering your strengths can help you feel the power that is already inside of you. It takes discipline, hard work and courage to put yourself out there every day, and you can lean into that training to regain confidence in your ability to do hard things.
- Remember your WHY. Particularly when the results are not there for you, it is important to remember why you do what you do. Do you like challenging yourself? Do you love being part of a team? These are things that are available regardless of what the scoreboard says. Focus on your WHY to help motivate yourself to get up and try again.
No matter the stage of your sport journey, you can always count on challenges and setbacks. The best athletes, rather than letting these challenges dictate their experience, seek solutions to get their mind back on what they love. You can too. By taking time to learn new mental skills, you can enhance your own confidence as well as cultivate feelings of meaning and satisfaction in your sport and life.
Sport psychology is not just for overcoming obstacles. While this is often the motivator that pushes people to seek additional support, sport psychology is about the whole person. It is about cultivating greater self-awareness and understanding what makes you shine so you can sustain the joy of your sport.
If you want to grow your mental fortitude this season, reach out to me for a consultation. I can’t wait to work with you or your organization to help you do what you love better and longer!
